


the end of everything

by alinaandalion



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Femslash, Swan Queen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-26
Updated: 2014-01-26
Packaged: 2018-01-10 01:54:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1153369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alinaandalion/pseuds/alinaandalion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Regina reaches up and wipes away the tears on Emma's cheek, sweeping her thumb along the line of Emma's jaw, and it's as easy as the next breath, the way Emma kisses her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the end of everything

**Author's Note:**

> Slight AU for 3x11 "Going Home" and a little bit of the aftermath.

“I couldn’t make sense of how I had gotten to this place any more than I could measure the miles I had come or the distance I still had to go.”

            - _Beautiful Darkness_ by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl

 

 

*****

 

 

When Snow tells her, Regina laughs.  She laughs and Snow looks at her, eyes full of hurt and confusion.  And Regina’s smile is cruel even as she turns away _oh, foolish girl, foolish girl, don_ _’t you know who I am._ She turns away so she doesn’t have to look at Snow’s hands pressed against her stomach, doesn’t have to think about Emma, _emmaemmaemma_ , a world away and forgotten already.

 

Leave it to Snow and her dolt of a prince to find a happy ending after letting their daughter go again.  _Again_ , and with barely a fight, like she just wasn’t worth it.

 

She swallows hard and tastes salt on her lips.

 

 

*****

 

 

“That’s the last of it.”  Regina hands the duffel bag full of bound bills to Emma.  “That should be enough to get you started, find a place to live, whatever you need.”

 

Emma tosses the bag into the trunk as she says, “It looks like I just robbed a bank.  Which, I guess is kind of what we just did.”

 

Regina lets her lips quirk upward at that.  “Not a very big haul, is it?”

 

“Yeah, I’ve had better.”  Emma laughs and then her lips twist as she closes the trunk.  “How much longer do we have?”

 

Breathing in slowly, Regina looks down at her cell phone.  Less than two hours now.  She closes her eyes and lets the weight bow her shoulders for a moment before looking back at Emma.

 

“Not much longer.  We need to head to the town line.”  She shoves her hands into her pockets.  “Henry and your parents should meet us there.”

 

“Wait.” 

 

Regina stops and turns to face Emma.  Emma who is hunched against her ridiculous yellow car, shaking and small as she stares at the ground.

 

“It’s not fair.  We were supposed to have time,” Emma says quietly, her voice cracking in the cold air.  “We were supposed to have time.”

 

“I know.”  Regina blinks and balls up her hands in her pockets. 

 

Emma bangs her fist against the side of her car, and then she’s kicking it and crying and pounding her hands against it _we were supposed to have time, whywhywhy_ , and Regina watches, lets her lash out, until she can’t anymore because there is no time for this.

 

“Emma, listen to me.”  Regina grabs onto Emma’s arm and pulls her around firmly as she says, “This is hard.  This _hurts_.  And I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry.”

 

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” Emma whispers.

 

Regina reaches up and wipes away the tears on Emma’s cheek, sweeping her thumb along the line of Emma’s jaw, and it’s as easy as the next breath, the way Emma kisses her.  Cold, chapped lips, clumsy, hands gripping her shoulders and Regina gives in, opens her mouth under Emma’s and tastes salt and fear and desperation.  Every moment is a reminder of _too late too late_ , and Regina forces herself to take a step back, look into Emma’s shining eyes that are so lost, so lost.

 

“You have to go,” and it hurts to say, swells in her chest and threatens to choke her.

 

 

*****

 

 

She asks her mirror to see them.  Once, when she can’t remember the smell of Henry’s shampoo or the exact shape of Emma’s eyes.  She can’t forget, she can’t forget, but the mirror doesn’t change.  The only thing she can see is her face.

 

_Stupid girl, don_ _’t forget the rules, don’t ever forget._

 

She screams, the sound raw and tearing through her throat, and every mirror in her room shatters into thousands of crystal pieces.

 

The glass grinds to dust underneath her heel.

 

 

*****

 

 

After she explains it, what is going to happen once she undoes the curse, Henry flings himself at her, his arms tight around her waist as he cries into her jacket _nonono_ , and Emma—

 

Regina pulls Henry closer, cradles the back of his head with her hand, breathes in deeply as she tries to memorize everything about him, her little boy, her little miracle.

 

“I don’t want to forget you,” he says, his voice muffled against her shoulder.  She doesn’t remember when he got so tall.  “It’s not fair.  You’re my _mom_.  I _can_ _’t_ forget you.”

 

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.”  She kisses the top of his head as she says, “But you won’t be alone.  You’re going to have Emma, and she loves you, Henry, so much, and you’re going to be fine.  I promise.”

 

And of course he asks, her smart little prince who can make the connections from A to B.  “But you won’t forget us, will you?  You’ll still remember?”

 

 _It wouldn_ _’t be a price if I didn’t remember_ , but she can’t say that to him, it’s unfair and she never wants to forget him, never wants to lose the precious years she did get.  “Yes, I’ll still remember you.  Always and forever.”

 

He nods his head, smiling and still crying, and he clings to her even as she reaches out to Emma, taking her hand. 

 

“This is what I can give you,” Regina tells them quietly as Henry shudders under the arm she has wrapped around him and Emma’s fingers tremble in her grasp.  “I’m giving you good memories, of a good life.  The life you always wanted, Emma.  You’ll have never given Henry up, you’ll have always had each other.”

 

“But it’s not real.”  Emma sniffles and steps closer.  “This isn’t a happy ending.”

 

“No, it’s not.”  Regina smiles, smiles past the tears threatening to spill down her cheeks.  “But the life you’ll have after you leave here, that will be real.  You’ll be…you’ll be free.  No more magic, no more destinies or prophecies.  You’ll be able to live the life you want.”

 

“It’s not what I want.  Not anymore.”

 

Regina shakes her head and lets Emma’s hand go.  “You’re running out of time.  You need to go.”

 

 

*****

 

 

She dreams sometimes.  Of golden hair and sunshine and smiles and little boy arms wrapped around her and laughter, and they’re happy, she has _everything_ , and it feels real, she can see them and touch them.

 

Until she wakes up.  And she’s alone.

 

It’s not real.  _It can never be real._

 

 

*****

 

 

The magic crackles in her palms, hot and bright as the roiling cloud of the curse moves closer, almost overtaking them. 

 

She hears the Bug start up behind her, and she doesn’t look as she pushes the magic in her hands up into the darkness pressing in.  It changes with the spell, the final breaking of the curse, and there’s enough time, there’s enough time for her to turn and watch them leave.

 

They’re safe, they made it, and she stands and watches even as the magic shifts and moves around her.  There’s a push, like a heavy wind, and she blinks, breathes slowly.

 

When she opens her eyes, she can only see trees on the horizon, smell pines and damp grass.  _It_ _’s over._


End file.
